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Five Proven Strategies On How To Control Your Emotions

Emotional Intelligence: Five Proven Strategies On How To Control Your Emotions

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Have you been stressed, sad, or disappointed in the past few months?

Before you hide your emotions and wish they’d disappear, remember that all emotions are meant to be felt. Feelings express your needs and provide feedback on your current situation. So, how do you listen and control your emotions rather than react to them?

If you are not using effective strategies to learn how to control your emotions, you will soon realize that you have very poor coping skills when challenges arise.

Learning how to manage and control your emotions fuels your performance in the workplace and your personal life. Emotional intelligence is not rocket science; it’s a skill that can be learned or improved on with time.

In this article, we will discuss five proven strategies to help you understand and control your emotions, which are important for accelerating success in all areas of your life.

Understanding Emotional Control and Regulation?

Emotional control is often called the ability to manage and regulate emotions through various approaches.

It doesn’t mean you should suppress your emotions; it talks about understanding, acknowledging, and thoughtfully responding to them. It involves being aware of your feelings and choosing how to express them constructively.

Why is it important to have emotional control?

Learning how to control your emotions equips you to handle stress more adeptly. You can reduce the negative impact of stress on your mental health by approaching challenges with a calmer mindset. This skill promotes a consistent and optimistic mental state by contributing to a stable and positive mood.

Moreover, resilience, the ability to bounce back from setbacks, is closely tied to emotional control. Those who regulate their emotions are often more resilient, facing challenges with greater adaptability.

The impact extends beyond mental well-being; it also influences your physical health. Emotional control is associated with lower blood pressure, positively influencing cardiovascular health. Additionally, it contributes to better sleep quality by reducing stress and anxiety levels, allowing for more restful nights.

Five Proven Strategies on How to Control Your Emotions

Develop Self-Awareness

Develop Self-Awareness

The first step is to develop self-awareness, which is the ability to recognize, understand, and control your emotions, a critical emotional intelligence skill.

To become self-aware, you must be able to monitor your own emotions, recognize different emotional reactions, and be able to correctly identify each one. Self-aware people always understand the connection between how they feel and how they behave.

How to Improve Self-Awareness

Practice mindfulness

Mindfulness is the practice of being fully present in the moment without judgment. It involves intentional awareness of your thoughts, feelings, and surroundings.

Journaling for self-reflection

This powerful and personal practice involves putting your thoughts and emotions on paper. By regularly expressing your feelings, recounting experiences, and noting reflections, journaling provides a structured means of understanding yourself.

Ask for constructive feedback

Asking for constructive feedback is a catalyst for self-awareness and emotional control. It provides insights into blind spots, emotional triggers, and strengths and weaknesses.

Enhancing Self-Regulation

The second strategy to control your emotions is enhancing self-regulation, which involves effectively managing and modulating your thoughts, feelings, and behaviors.

It does not mean you won’t be expressing any of your emotions or hiding your true feelings; it simply means you are waiting for the right time and place to express those feelings.

Simply put, self-regulation is about expressing your emotions in the right way.

Individuals with strong self-regulation skills possess a unique combination of adaptability, conflict resolution prowess, conscientiousness, and a strong sense of personal accountability. These qualities contribute to their effectiveness in managing themselves and positively influencing others.

How to Enhance Your Self-Regulation

Develop your distress tolerance skills

Develop the ability to withstand and cope with distressing situations. Building distress tolerance skills equips you to navigate challenges without becoming overwhelmed.

Discover techniques for managing difficult emotions

Explore healthy outlets for managing intense emotions. Whether through creative expression, physical activity, or other coping mechanisms, finding effective ways to handle difficult emotions is key to emotional well-being.

Recognize that you have a choice in how you react

In any situation, you can consciously decide how you react. It involves pausing before responding, considering your emotions, and choosing a thoughtful and intentional response rather than reacting impulsively.

Cultivate Motivation

Cultivate Motivation

Motivation plays a vital role in how to control your emotions by providing direction, purpose, and positive perception. It guides your emotional responses toward constructive actions aligned with your goals.

Those who are skilled at Motivation tend to be action-oriented. They set goals, strongly desire success, and constantly look for improvement. They are also very dedicated and good at taking the initiative.

How to improve Motivation

Avoid overusing extrinsic rewards

Overreliance on external rewards for emotional control can lead to a superficial motivation that might not be sustainable. Instead of focusing solely on external validation, finding intrinsic satisfaction in managing emotions is crucial.

Celebrate your results

Celebrating your achievements in emotional regulation is a key aspect of reinforcing positive behavior. Acknowledging and celebrating small victories will help cultivate a positive emotional environment.

Focus on setting small, measurable goals

Setting small, measurable goals is an effective strategy for emotional control. It involves breaking down the broader objective of managing emotions into achievable milestones. By focusing on these goals, you can track your progress, experience a sense of accomplishment, and maintain Motivation to control your emotions consistently.


Empathy is the ability to understand and share another person’s feelings and to see things from their point of view. You recognize their emotions, and empathy helps you connect with those feelings much deeper.

It goes beyond sympathy; it requires you to step into another person’s shoes to comprehend their perspective and emotions.

How to build empathy

Pay attention to others

Actively listening to others enhances empathy. Understanding their perspectives and emotions strengthens connections and provides valuable insights to inform your emotional responses.

Engage in loving-kindness meditation

Engaging in loving kindness Meditation fosters a positive mindset and compassion, which can positively influence emotional regulation. This practice promotes a sense of interconnectedness and empathy toward yourself and others.

Interact with new people

Interacting with new people exposes you to diverse perspectives and emotions. This broadens your emotional intelligence, allowing you to learn and adapt your emotional responses in different social contexts.

Improve social skills

Improving social skills is a key strategy for you to learn if you want to control your emotions effectively. Emotional intelligence goes beyond simply understanding your emotions and those of others; it also includes your ability to apply that knowledge when interacting with others.

When it comes to improving your social skills, active listening and clear communication help to reduce misunderstandings, while skilled conflict resolution helps to reduce emotional stress.

How to Improve Your Social Skills

Ask open-ended questions

Proactively asking open-ended questions in conversations encourages deeper engagement and understanding. When you foster meaningful dialogue, you gain insights into others’ perspectives, which promotes empathy and reduces the likelihood of misinterpreting emotions.

Take note of other people’s social skills

Observing and appreciating others’ social skills enhances your emotional intelligence. Recognizing effective communication styles and emotional expressions in others provides valuable cues for navigating social interactions.

Practice good eye contact

Practice good eye contact to establish a connection and convey attentiveness in social interactions. This simple yet powerful gesture fosters a sense of understanding and can positively influence emotional exchanges.

10 Benefits and Long-Term Impact of Controlling Your Emotions

Effective Leadership

Emotionally controlled leaders inspire trust, foster a positive work environment, and make better decisions for long-term organizational success.

Enhanced mental well-being

Improved emotional control reduces stress, anxiety, and negative mental health impacts.

Healthy Relationships

Controlled emotions contribute to more harmonious and positive interactions, strengthening your relationships.

Effective Decision-Making

Emotional control enhances rational thinking, leading to more effective and sound decision-making.

Increased Resilience

Managing your emotions cultivates resilience, which enables you to bounce back from challenges more effectively.

Professional Success

Emotional control is linked to professional success, which fosters better leadership, teamwork, and career advancement.

Enhanced Conflict Resolution

Controlled emotions facilitate constructive conflict resolution, leading to healthier relationships and a more positive social environment.

Physical health benefits

Controlled emotions contribute to overall well-being, positively impacting your physical health in the long run.

Improved Self-Esteem

Successful emotional regulation enhances self-esteem and confidence over time.


Mastering the art of emotional control yields profound and lasting benefits. The impact is transformative, from improved mental well-being and enriched relationships to professional success and heightened resilience.

If you want to learn how to implement the strategies discussed in this article, check out my book, “DON’T BE A CRAB,” where I’ll teach you how to successfully manage and control your emotions, paving the way for a fulfilling and harmonious life journey.


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